if you want me to admit living in a city is a disease I will admit it if someone said I like being stoned all the time it’s a perfectly good way to live in fact it’s the only way things seem real to me would anyone approve? so that’s one analogy and when I go into the sobering world of suburbs or country or if there still was wilderness—let’s pronounce it ‘wilder-ness’ and see if it might then exist—the disaster of human progress I have just left is then inescapably obvious how could I? live like? until I crawl back into the peopled hive and live the only real life I know