Our readers aren’t selected for their timidity; they can be brutal in their assessments of submissions. When they decline a work, they’re able to put it into a category that describes why they’re recommending that it be declined. In addition to the already-described “Inappropriate for VQR” category, there are others, including “Bad” and “Terrible.” Since I often get a laugh out of reading through some of the notes that our beleaguered readers provide for these particularly unfortunate submissions, it seems worthwhile to share them. Here are some of my favorites:
Of course, our readers have written thousands of reviews that are in-depth, reasoned, considerate, and polite. But they aren’t funny, so you won’t read them here.
05/02 Update: Read our followup, a combination mea culpa and collection of glowing reviews by readers.
05/05 Update: Ted Genoways, our editor, offers his thoughts and an apology.
* Identifying details have been changed to protect the innocent. Except for Faulkner. He can handle it.
20 Comments
At least these didn’t go to the submitters. (Did they? Oh, please no. Even terrible writers deserve mercy. Especially terrible writers … as long as they are never published. Not that much mercy.)Oh, no, certainly not. Readers’ comments do routinely find their way into the comments sent to authors, they’re presented in a considerably kinder light. :) “This essay is the kind that gives philosophy a bad name” turns into “perhaps you’d have better luck placing this with a publication within your field.” And “Planet of the Apes fan-fiction! Have we no standards?” might become “we encourage you to read a few issues of VQR to get a better sense for the sort of work that we publish.” The goal here, after all, is to a) find good work for VQR and b) to help these writers find a market for their work, whether it’s ultimately VQR or some other place right now. Even the best writers produce lousy work sometimes, and even lousy writers can create something brilliant, even if just once.
A legendary editor in chief at my university press once began a letter to a particularly persistent and annoying author, “Dear _____, News of your continued good health gave us all quite a shock.”I hope somebody, somewhere, has a collection of the best snarky comments produced by editors, literary agents, readers, etc. That could make for some pretty good reading.
what’s the matter with prose poems?VQR has no opposition to prose poems (our editor being a noted Whitman scholar). Apparently, one of our readers just doesn’t like ‘em.
And what am I to do with this pile of Beauty and the Beast fan fiction I was going to submit? I ask you, what?Don’t worry, Michael–we’ve got you covered. :) Folks might be interested in the second part of this series, a collection of glowing readers’ comments that’ll make you say “aaawwwww…”
Further, by quoting several pieces you create the possibility of at least one author coming across their own work as critiqued in this terrible, terrible way.As I wrote in the blog entry: “Identifying details have been changed to protect the innocent.” Nobody could recognize their own works here.
I know there’s a lot of bad writing in the world, but it is never a bad thing that people are writing, and submitting, and caring about literary journals.This is a good point.
the implicit level of self-ascribed superiority in this entry is a little tough to swallowSo, if I understand you, you believe that there’s no such thing as bad writing – that no work is superior to other work, and nobody can claim that to be true? I just want to make sure we’re on the same page here. It’s really startling, the contrast between folks who hold opposite views here. That so many people can look at something so simple and come to two wholly separate conclusions is a pretty interesting phenomenon.