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Sean Mills

Sean Mills is a writer and teacher. His fiction has appeared in Hobart and Growing Up Gay/Growing Up Lesbian: A Literary Anthology, and he had a story selected as Work of the Day on the Emerging Writers Network. He teaches in the Bard Early College system and is currently a visiting professor at Bard College at Simon’s Rock. 

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Illustration by Michelle Thompson

My Father’s Toe

Fall 2018 | Essays

My father recently lost a toe. The second one on his right foot, lopped off in an outpatient procedure, quick and painless. Such a funny thing to lose, everybody thought—my mother, sisters, brother, the grandkids all finding much levity in the situation. They call him “Nine-toed Joe” now, and for his birthday his granddaughters gave him customized white tube socks, the ghoulish gap of his little amputation rendered with a red Sharpie. My father found the gift hilarious, and wore the socks proudly with his new sandals right through to Halloween. I laughed, too, pretending not to find it disturbing and macabre. His toes had become grotesque with old age, as toes do when you approach eighty, after decades of punishing footwear: Army boots, oxfords, wingtips, Chuck Taylor Converse All Stars on the basketball court, running shoes in which my father pounded the pavement, training for marathons he never ran. Now he’s barely able to get any shoes onto his feet in order to make it to church.