it’s procedure to inspect
the ass of an immigrant kid
undress put this gown on
the doctor will be here soon
that first day after Sonoran Desert
I showered for hours when we got to parents’ apartment
Father showed me the way to turn the knob that first day
how things worked
I hadn’t seen him since I was one
I didn’t know him know him
this is how you make your pee-pee grow he said so it’s bigger so it’s the biggest
he said sometime that first month or that first year
pull
pull I did
pull
do it now
you’re young it will work he said
did anything happen the doctor asked in front of my parents
then alone
did anything happen along the way in Spanish
all of this in Spanish
starting with es procedimiento
this is how you get hot water
twist then pull
no
I’d never used a sponge
soap-bar and hand was enough back there next to a well
I’d never seen a “shower”
parents said it that way in English chá-uer
that first “shower”
my dirt drew a dark rim around the linoleum
you will hear from us next week
I came back for all the necessary shots
I grew up across the street from a clinic
every kid cried
I came back I got shot I didn’t cry
I kept turning the wrong knob
even after Dad showed me
then Mom showed me
then we showered together
to make me comfortable with my own body again
with theirs
with anyone’s
it burned that first time
my skin
hot water
nothing happened
it burned
I’m sure
seguro que
nada pasó