The Seahawks Are Bad Poets, Too

Kerry Carter, former back-up running back for the Seattle Seahawks, has found something to fill his idle hours since being cut by the team before this season. He’s been writing poetry. This must-have gift for the Seahawks fan on your Valentine’s Day list is subtley titled Fiery Scenes of Seduction. The Torontoist says, “Not only can he find a hole in the defense, but this NFL running back can help to fill the hole in your heart.” Personally, I plan to wait for One for the Thumb: The Collected Poems of Jerome Bettis. I’ll put it on my bookshelf next to these recommended titles:

• Rocky Bleier, Fighting Back
• Terry Bradshaw, It’s Only a Game
• Andy Russell, A Steeler Odyssey
• Randy Roberts and David Welky, eds., The Steelers Reader

Or, more seriously, you might consider Confessions of a Hero-Worshiper—Stephen J. Dubner’s account of growing up obsessed with Steelers running back Franco Harris.